WHAT does it mean to say that “love is blind?” This is a question that has engaged my mind for sometime now, especially in this season of valentine. According to the Encarta World English Dictionary, to be blind implies one is “unable to see, permanently or temporarily.” My bewilderment is this; if I can’t see a person, how can I love them? My view has been that I cannot love a person I don’t see. Something I see in a person would attract and make me fall in love with them. From where I sit, I imagine that people’s character traits, mannerisms, values, physique … are factors that elicit other people’s intense affection; love. Love is not blind, it sees. The fact that love sometimes overlooks what it sees does not water down it ability to see. So, what is love able to see? This week, I attempt to identify four things that love sees.
· Character: In my book Attitude is Everything! I speak of character as “who you are at all times.” Your character encompasses a set of qualities that combine to make you a distinctive personality. If someone loves you, it’s probably because of certain traits and behavioural values that you exude. In the same way, I guess you love people because of the qualities you see in them. Love does not operate in a vacuum; it’s fuelled by character.
· Potential: Character is who you are, potential is who you can be. Love considers the possibilities that are inherent in one’s life. Love does not limit itself to the circumstances of the present but also looks out for the possibilities of the future. True love does not despise small beginnings. It sees a superficially unimpressive situation and imagines how big and relevant it could be when it germinates. Nothing would make you want to be with someone forever unless you have a belief that something can come out of the relationship. Love sees and foresees.
· Needs: Love sees and meets needs. You cannot love someone and be blind to their needs and interests. If a person loves you, they would be interested in seeing you content. Contentment in life comes when you have your essential needs met. Love consciously looks out for those needs and takes steps to meet them. A person who is truly in love will assist their loved ones to meet their needs. Even if one cannot meet the need directly, they are able to offer the necessary advice and encouragement which then become the riding path for the person. Love sees and promotes the welfare of people. Any relationship that is bsed on love genuinely seeks to promote the well-being of the parties involved. Love is not blind to people’s needs.
· Appearance: Appearance could excite attraction and attraction is the foundation of love. You can’t love a person you are not attracted to. The way a person dresses determines the kind of people they attract. Even your gait could appeal to someone. Love is not blind. It sees your looks. It sees your clothes, talk and walk. A person’s general physical outlook could either make you love them or not.
I have come to the conclusion that love is not only emotional but spiritual, mental, social as well as physical. It is holistic and multifaceted. Love operates on all fronts. If we want to keep our love aflame, then we must keep all aspects of our lives lit. Love becomes meaningful and fulfilling when we love with our whole being. Loving with your whole being includes your eyes too; your senses of perception and understanding. Love keeps you alert.
Love may be patient in the face of provocation but certainly not blind. Love may not behave rudely but it doesn’t fail to recognise arrogance in people. Love reinforces positive qualities and attitudes in others while it graciously manages negative values. The gracious response of love to negative values should not be seen as blindness. When you say “I love you,” you are virtually saying “I see you.”
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