THE ART OF LISTENING

How can you speak if you have not listened? What will you say if you have not taken time to listen? - Terry Mante

HEARING AND LISTENING
HEARING and listening are not the same. Hearing is the act of perceiving sound. It is involuntary and simply refers to the reception of sound or what is technically referred to as aural stimuli. Listening, on the other hand is a conscious and selective activity which involves not only the reception of sound but interpretation as well.

Hearing doesn’t require effort. You could sit in a room and hear the sound of the engine of a moving vehicle. For you to discern the make of vehicle, you have to listen by paying attention.

VIRTUE OF LISTENING
LISTENING is a means by which we derive content and ideas for speech. So how can you speak if you have not listened? What will you say if you have not taken time to listen? Listening is more important than talking. When you listen, you learn. You beef up your knowledge. You understand. You get inspired. Don’t be in a hurry to have your voice heard. By all means there will be time when your voice will be needed. But really, you gain the right to be heard only after you have listened to others.

CATEGORIES OF LISTENING
THERE are two broad categories of listening you must be aware of – passive listening and active listening.

When you have little motivation to listen carefully, you engage in passive listening. Passive listening is the kind of listening you do when listening to music. For instance, you don’t need to understand the lyrics of a song to enjoy or dance to it. Indeed, you can concentrate on other things while you listen to music.

However, if you were listening to a lecture or a talk broadcast on radio or TV, it would be possible for your mind to drift (or think about other things) and not be conscious of what is being said. In my high school History class, I was once called by my teacher to answer a question. I got up and I had no clue about the question. I didn’t know what the question was. Meanwhile, the question had been asked to the hearing of the entire class. I was in the class physically but mentally I was far away. Disgracefully, I had to tell Ms Baiden and the class that I didn’t know the answer. I couldn’t bring myself to say that I was not paying attention.

The way to cure such a situation is by active listening; which involves listening with purpose – to gain information, receive insights, obtain directions, share interests, understand others, solve problems, etc. This requires a lot more effort than hearing or passive listening.

LISTENING WITH PURPOSE
THE purpose of listening is not just to hear but to understand – to grasp the idea the speaker is attempting to transmit. Follow these time-tested techniques and you will improve your listening skills:

1. Spend more time listening than talking. One thing that I find irritating is to be interrupted while I’m following a discussion or a news story on radio. And it gets even more irritating when the person asks, “What did they say?” Instead of listening, they ask questions or comment on the discussion without getting the full import of what is being said. Don’t talk when the speaker is still talking. Wait, listen before you comment or ask a question.

2. Do not dominate conversation. Typically, a conversation is a verbal exchange of ideas or thoughts between two or more people. It is important that you allow the other person or people to express themselves. The less you talk, the more you listen.

3. Plan responses only after others have finished speaking NOT while they are talking. The temptation to think of what to say next while a person is talking could interfere with your listening efficiency. Relax and listen. When the person finishes, you will definitely have something to say. Even if there is nothing to say, the fact that you listened is a big deal.

4. Keep conversation on what others say, NOT what interests you. If you want people to enjoy talking with you keep the chat on issues that interest the person. Don’t focus too much on yourself.

5. Take brief notes. I hardly listen to a lecture or a sermon without taking notes. This practice helps me to concentrate and crystallize the ideas the speaker tries to put across.

6. Provide feedback. There are several ways to provide feedback while listening – nodding, smiling, gesturing, eye contact and so on.



© 2012 Terry Mante
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Accra, Ghana