It pays to be different. When people see you as different, they are attracted to you. – Tony Bennett
IN OUR circle of engagement there is always the pressure to conform; to be like others. People try to influence how you act, to get you to do something - to dress in a particular way, talk in a certain way, eat a certain kind of food or partake in a kind of activity. Making decisions on your own is hard enough, but when other people get involved and try to pressure you one way or another it can be even harder.
Peers can influence your life just by spending time with you, even if you don't realize it. You learn from them, and they learn from them. It's only human nature to listen to and learn from other people in your domain of work. The danger with such pressure is when it is in a direction that you consider negative. What will you do when everybody in your office uses the company telephone for their personal business? How will you feel when you attend a party where everybody is boozing away and they urge you to join in?
You see, there is nothing strange about such pressure. So long as you live on earth, you will feel such pressure one way or the other. But the problem with such pressure is not the pressure. The problem is with the person who is the target of the pressure. When pressure comes your way, you must have a response. You must coordinate your actions.
REFUSE TO CONFORM
YOU see, pressure is merely conformity. The best way to free yourself from pressure is not to fall for the fact of conformity. To conform is to actually do what others are doing, and it isn't always verbal, it could be just implied by behaviour.
To overcome pressure, you need to have an impotent attitude toward the things at hand; things you don't approve of. Don't be scared of rejection. Real friends won't force you to do things you don't believe in and if they do, they are not your friends. Don’t worry about being called boring. After all, is it wrong to be boring? Just be who you are and show your true colours all the time!
RECOGNIZE THE CONSEQUENCES
BEFORE you pursue any course of action, always consider the potential consequences. For instance, when there is pressure on you to cheat on your spouse, you have to consider the impact an extramarital affair will have on your marriage. Whatever you do today, think about tomorrow. The only reason there is a day called tomorrow is today. Today is the seed for tomorrow. In his book Buy The Future, Mensa Otabil remarks that “Tomorrow is only the fruit of seeds sown today. Tomorrow has no power to design itself. It only takes the form and shape of the consequences of our actions and inactions.” When there is pressure on you to act now, think of the impact the action will have on your future.
RETOOL YOUR COMPANY
WHEN the people you associate with are constantly on your nerve to do what you don’t want to do, you’ve got to make a move. You have to rearrange your network; change your company. If you want to live out your ideals, then associate with people who share your values. Just as bad company corrupts good morals, good company enhances great values.
You must set your own agenda for your life and based on that agenda, decide who fits in. Have a protocol for dealing with people. The fact that you work in the same office with someone does not mean you should allow them into your house. Just because you have to get along with your mates in school does not mean every one of your mates should be your friend. A friend influences your values. Before you call any person your friend, check their values first!
ANYTIME you feel the pressure to conform, remember what Tony Bennett said, “It pays to be different. When people see you as different, they are attracted to you.” Anybody who pressurises you to give up your principles to become like them is just a myopic person. Eventually, they will see the essence of your ideals and would want to swing to your side. Stay true to yourself.
© 2011 Terry Mante
PEDNET
Accra, Ghana
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