MANAGING CRITICISM

I DON’T know about you but I don’t like to be criticized. I am yet to meet anybody who courts the sting of criticism. Most people don’t like criticism. In spite of this, criticism is inevitable. Everybody gets criticized.

THE INEVITABILITY OF CRITICISM

WE get criticized for various reasons. Some of the reasons for which we get criticized are:

1. No two people are the same. Our experiences, aspirations, knowledge and beliefs make each of us one of a kind. People who don’t understand our uniqueness will perceive others through their own spectacle, and end up criticizing.                                                                     
2. We also get criticized because we don’t get it right all the time. No human being is right all the time. Once a while, we mess up. When we mess up, those who notice it tend to criticize us for not getting something right.                                                                                   
3. There are also times when we get criticized for doing what is right. Doing the right things can make some people uncomfortable. A sure way for such people to ease their discomfort is to criticize those who do right.                                                                                        
4. We also have people who criticize for acrimonious reasons. They criticize to undermine the confidence and success of others. Such critics somehow derive their fulfillment from other people’s failures. What they then do is to orchestrate vitriolic attacks to draw back the seemingly progressive ones.

THE RESPONSE TO CRITICISM

WHETHER you do what is right, wrong or do nothing, criticism will come. You cannot stop criticism from coming your way. Nevertheless, you can determine your response to criticism.

First, consider the facts. Don’t be in a hurry to accept or reject any form of criticism that comes your way. When a stone of criticism is hurled at you, your first action is to consider the substance of the criticism. Is it true? Is it fair? Is it really wrong? Just analyse everything before you arrive at a conclusion.

Second, assess the critic. Consider where the criticism is coming from. If it’s from a source you trust to be objective, then you may have to give an ear to that person. A trustworthy person may be someone with deep knowledge about what they criticize you about. If the person offering the criticism is someone whom you believe has your interest at heart, you may have to pay attention to them. You pay attention not merely to yield to them but to understand the basis of their criticism before you decide what to do. On the other hand, criticism from an acrimonious person may be disregarded. Even that, there will be times when you would have to yield if the facts are not in your favour.

Third, subject criticism to your standard. Each one of us has a benchmark that determines the code by which we run our lives. It is upon this benchmark that we determine whether something is right or wrong. Each of us must be conscious of our standards. This will guide us and help us to have consistent lives.

Fourth, don’t take it personal. Most of the time, people criticize you for something you do or don’t do. So when you are criticized, try not to make it an attack of your person. See it as feedback for an action or inaction. By all means, there will be times when people will deliberately attack your person to malign you. You can’t stop that but you must not let it stop you from moving forward.

THE NECESSITY OF CRITICISM

ALTHOUGH criticism is not desirable, we cannot do without it. It is more or less a necessary evil. 26th president of the United States Theodore Roosevelt famously remarked that “To announce that there must be no criticism of the president…is morally treasonable to the American public.” When he said this, he was not inviting criticism. He was affirming the inevitability of criticism and acknowledgement of people’s right to express their opinion.

Another iconic leader, Winston Churchill also said “Criticism may not be agreeable, but it is necessary. It fulfills the same function as pain in the human body. It calls attention to an unhealthy state of things.” Don’t resent criticism. Don’t be angry when you are criticized. Learn to respond to criticism objectively and it could be your spring board for success to the next level.

© 2014 Terry Mante

CEO, Personal Development Network

Accra, Ghana

Cell: +233.267.186.420

EASTER AT GETHSEMANE

You cannot arrive at any destination without paying the fare - Terry Mante

EASTER is the most important and oldest festival of the Church, celebrating the death and resurrection of Christ. The account of Easter has many lessons that we can apply to our lives. The night before the arrest that culminated in Jesus’ crucifixion, He admitted to his top disciples in the garden of Gethsemane that His heart was overwhelmed with sorrow to the point of death.

Then onward, He separated Himself and spent the entire night praying. He was in agony. He sought the solidarity of His top aides who could not control the heaviness of their eyes. He was lonely and frustrated. He was in pain. His prayer that night, in my own words, was “Father, this death is going to be a painful one. I really don’t feel like dying anymore. If you don’t mind, release me from this assignment. Nevertheless, I am prepared to do whatever you want me to do.”

By that prayer, Jesus brought to light the pain and frustration that was associated with His impending death. At the same time, He also made a choice to follow the path that leads to fulfillment. In my estimation, this is where the incident of Easter actually took place and there are many lessons to be gleaned from this episode. We’ll consider four lessons.

SUBMISSION TO GOD’S WILL

AT Gethsemane, Jesus made a choice to submit to the Father’s will for His life. Although He had the option to follow a convenient path, He chose to allow God’s original plan for His life to prevail.

In life, there will be moments of pain, despondency and depression. There will be seasons of betrayal. In such seasons, you may be tempted to trade long-term benefits for short-term quick fixes. What should you do in moments like that? You can take a cue from Jesus. You may prayerfully give up your natural conveniences for God’s eternal purposes.

SENSITIVITY TO LIFE MISSION

THERE is a reason each human being was created. In the case of Jesus, He had come to reconcile the human race to God through His death and resurrection. This was very clear to Him. It was something He so much desired to accomplish. He was not prepared to sacrifice this mission for any convenience of life.

We must also realize that we are alive for a reason. Our lives were designed to accomplish something in particular. It is when we recognize this and organize our lives around the purpose for our lives that we will find meaning and significance.

SERVICE TO HUMANITY

EASTER has become such a big deal because of its value to the human race. Although Jesus’ death was in fulfillment of God’s will for His life, it was also very relevant to the people of the earth. That is why the world celebrates His death and resurrection every year.

We must also determine to make our lives worth celebrating by others. This can be done if we become useful to people. We must not be selfish in our pursuits. We must live in such a way that we make contributions that make the world a better place for all of us.

SACRIFICE OF FLESHLY DESIRES

JESUS’ Gethsemane experience was a moment of destiny. It was the moment when He really had to overcome the final hurdle to becoming all that He had been destined to be. However, one thing stood in His way. While His spirit was willing to go all the way to the cross, His body was determined to keep Him on earth. This was the battle He needed to resolve throughout that night.

After a long and difficult struggle, He brought his body under subjection and decided to stick with the plan. How many times have we not jettisoned great plans because we got to the cross roads?

Sometimes, we have to endure pain to achieve what we need to achieve. Pain is the price we pay for the place we want to get to. You cannot arrive at any destination without paying a fare. Jesus paid with His life. What are you willing to give up?

© 2014 by Terry Mante

CEO, Personal Development Network (PEDNET)

Accra, Ghana

Cell phone: +233.267.186.420

MY 53 DAYS OF FOCUS

THIS was in 2006. It was at the annual convention of the International Central Gospel Church, Destiny Summit, held under the leadership of Pastor Mensa Otabil. One of the guest ministers, Randy Morrison, who is a regular at this conference, preached a message on the subject of “Focus.”

After Morrison handed over the microphone, conference host Otabil stepped up and instructed that each one of us should write down one thing we looked forward to accomplishing by the end of that year. We did a quick calculation and computed that December 31 was 53 days away. I took my pen and note book and scribbled with faith, “In the next 53 days, I will release Winning with Confidence.”

From that moment on, my prayer, my conversations, my thoughts, my dreams and fantasies were all beamed on Winning with Confidence. Winning with Confidence was a script that I had put together to publish as my first book. This was when I was an undergrad at Ghana’s premier university at Legon in Accra. I had no money. Not much influence. No audience ready to read my book. I could not distinguish my left from my right in the field of publishing. I was a confused rookie.

But from that night, I decided to focus on what I had and what I could do. I had written a script. At least I had few friends I could talk to about what I had done and what was left to be done. I could pray for God to spring a miracle to fill the gaps I couldn’t fill.

Somehow, things worked together and by November 26 that year, I was ready to launch my first book. And actually, I launched it on December 13, 2006 while I was still a student in pursuit of my first degree.

That was how I discovered the amazing power of focus. Focus is a force that pools people and resources together to produce the dreams we nurture in our hearts in our lives. If you focus on something, you will be drawn towards it. If you focus on something you desire, it will be drawn towards you.

Focus is a magnetic force that brings your dreams together. It keeps your principles in place. What you don’t focus on, you lose. What you ignore ignores you. Don’t look away and expect that you will get somewhere. It is absolutely critical that we keep our attention on the things that matter to us.

If you want things to happen in your life, don’t focus on what you don’t have. Focus on what you need and you will discover how to use what you have to generate what you need.

To focus effectively in your life, 

1. Have a dream. If you don’t know what you want to achieve, you cannot focus on something. In my case, I knew I wanted to be an incisive and inspiring author.                                                                                                                                                                                        
2. Identify the resources you require. You must have a fair idea of what it will take to accomplish your dream. To become an author, I knew I had to write, I needed to build a brand that would appeal to people, I needed money to finance my publications and so on.                                                                                                                                                            
3. Know the resources you have at your disposal. Certainly, you will not have all the resources you require. But surely you will have some. Identify what you have and make a commitment to use what you have to do what it can do. In my journey, I didn’t have money but I had concepts I wanted to project with my writings so I began writing. I didn’t have a name out there but I started talking to my circle of friends. And now, here I am. And here you are reading me.                                                                                                                                     
4. Don’t stop working until you get there. When you start, you will see yourself moving. You will see yourself getting closer to the destination. Remember that being close is not the same as being there. Keep looking at the goal and keep working. Although I have produced a few more books since the first one and written several articles for newspapers, magazines and online portals, I know I haven’t reached there yet. That’s why I keep working.

It doesn’t matter how far away you are from where you want to get to. If you keep your eye on the ball, you will get things together and you will get there eventually.

© 2014 Terry Mante

CEO, Personal Development Network

Accra, Ghana

Cell: +233.267.186.420