THE POWER OF SELF-IDENTITY

“If you do not have a positive self-identity, you cannot live a positive life. While it’s good to have ears for others, never see yourself only through the eyes of others.”

ITALIAN dramatist and poet Ugo Betti (1892-1953) remarked that, “There is always a certain peace in being what one is, in being that completely.” The greatest success in life is just to be who you are. Apart from being you, you cannot be successful at being anybody else. You can only be the best you. You cannot be the best of your friends, parents or role models. To experience real peace and inner fulfilment, we have to be true to who we are. If you are driven by the desire to be another person, then there would be no need for your existence on earth because you will be a fake. The world has no room for people who are not real. You’ve got to be an original you.

In moving through life, it is important that you come to terms with who you are and live out that identity. There is no way you can make your life count without counting your life. If you don’t say “I am” nobody will say “You are.” Quite often when I meet a person for the first time I introduce myself; I stretch out for a handshake and say something like, “Hello! I am Terry Mante and I am pleased to meet you.” Then the other person normally responds, “Hi Terry! I am pleased to meet you too.” In such a situation, the person is able to call my name because I say “I am Terry Mante.” From then onwards, the person deals with me as Terry. The way you identify yourself determines how the world identifies you and responds to you.

Addled inventor
Identification is your platform for engagement in life. The reason I write and speak is because I have identified myself as an author and speaker. If I had recognised myself as a singer, I would have been making music. In 1854, when Reverend G. B. Engle belittled one of his students as “addled,” the seven-year old boy got infuriated and moved out of the Port Huron Michigan School. He moved out because he did not see himself as addled or confused but he saw himself as an inventor. He did not stay in the school to try to impress his teacher. He moved on to live up to his self-identity. This boy grew up to become the man we all know as Thomas Edison. By the time he died in 1931 at the age of 84, Edison had gone on record as America’s most prolific inventor with over a thousand patents for such marvels as microphone, telephone receiver, record player, motion picture projection, office copiers, incandescent electric light and many more. Don’t accept tags placed on you by others unless they affirm your own self-identity.

Ali, the greatest
Long before he was recognised as Heavyweight Champion of the World, boxing legend Muhammad Ali identified himself as one. He started dreaming about it at 14; he was sure that one day he would be the Heavyweight Champion of the World. At that time his only worry was that he couldn’t “even beat anybody in [his] own gym.” So he asked his trainer Joe Martin, “Can I?” Martin’s response was depressing. Ali narrates in his autobiography that Martin shook his head doubtfully and said, “You hardly weigh a hundred and fifteen pounds soaking wet. You know how big a heavyweight is? Maybe you could be a lightweight.”

But Ali knew his identity. He knew who he was and what he could be. His response to Martin’s remarks was affirmative, “But I want ‘heavyweight.’ Somehow, although no one on either side of my family is that big, I feel I will be.” He moved away from Martin and the next day he began to do things that affirmed the conviction he had of himself. He trained earnestly and watched fights on TV with even keener interest. And now with the benefit of hindsight, we know that Martin was wrong and Ali was right. He did not allow Martins’ definition to inform him. He was driven by his conviction and by 1980 he had become a three-time Heavyweight Champion of the World.

Put on your own lens
If you do not have a positive self-identity, you cannot live a positive life. While it’s good to have ears for others, never see yourself only through the eyes of others. See yourself through the eyes of your convictions and aspirations. “You cannot consistently perform in a manner that is inconsistent with the way you see yourself,” says American author Zig Ziglar.


© 2011 Terry Mante
PEDNET
Accra, Ghana

KEEPING THE CLOCK

When you are asked, “What are you doing?” never ever answer by saying, “nothing.”

IN THESE days of mobile phone galore, many people do not wear a watch around their wrists. But whether you have a wrist watch or a wall clock, you need to keep the clock – you need to manage time. Time management is extremely crucial to success and significance in our personal and professional lives. Time is an important resource that is available to all human beings. It affords us space within which we can fulfil our aspirations. If you manage your time wisely, it is most likely that your life will turn out pretty well.

Success in any enterprise in life does not merely depend on how swift, strong, smart, scholarly and skilful people are. More importantly, it is the way we harness opportunities within the time of our lives.

The fastest runner does not always win the race, and the strongest warrior doesn’t always win the battle. Wise people sometimes go hungry, and the skilful are not necessarily wealthy. We also know that those who are educated don’t always lead successful lives. It is all determined by how they all use time before, during and after the moment of opportunity. If you have written an examination before, you would know that it is not the brightest who always make the best marks. A very pitiful feverish situation in the examination room is when you have studied but because you did not manage your time well in the examination room, you could not finish. How sad!

Likewise, in the exam of life, time is the difference between the rich and the poor. It is the difference between the leader and the follower. The way we position ourselves within the time of our lives produce the quality of life we experience.

Watch out! When I talk about time management, I am not talking about the manipulation of time. As you all know, we have twenty-four hours each day and there is nothing we can do about that. You cannot adjust the amount of time available to you. Rather, you can alter your activities within the amount of time you have. Time management thus is about exercising control over the amount of time you spend on specific activities with an intense focus on productivity.

The big question: How do you manage yourself in such a way that you can optimise your time? I offer three suggestions:

1. Establish your priorities
ESTABLISHING your priorities is about assigning a level of importance to the different things in life which compete for your time, attention and resources. Everyday when you wake up, there will be many things and people that will compete for space on your agenda. The onus is on you to determine what is important in your life. Then, of the things which are important, you have to categorize them according to their weight of importance.

2. Examine your practices
THIS simply means take a second look at your lifestyle. Lifestyle simply means the way you live. Many people know what is important in their lives but the way they conduct their lives is contradictory to their priorities. Every student knows that their books are important but it is not all of them who study. You want to be among the wealthiest people in the world, yet you have never read any book on investment, wealth creation and entrepreneurship. You need to have a serious life. You must couch a result-oriented action plan for your life and religiously stick to it. Never wake up I the day without knowing what to do. By all means, protect yourself from time eaters – your mobile phone, television, social media are very common time eaters.

3. Employ your present
TIME cannot be packaged, stored and retrieved. It comes and passes and never comes back. The only time you have is today – now. Make no room for procrastination. If you miss today, it’s gone forever. So decide to make every moment of your life count. When you are asked, “What are you doing?” never ever answer by saying, “nothing.” There should never be a moment of “nothing” in your life. You should always have an agenda you are pursuing.

MANAGING your time is not a mystery. It arises out of a disciplined effort to manage your life in a strategic way. God gives us time and it is our responsibility to make the time count. Be blessed!

© 2011 Terry Mante
PEDNET
Accra, Ghana

PEDESTRIANS, PASSENGERS AND DRIVERS

LIFE is a journey. We move from the point of birth to the point of death. Many of us embark on this journey of life in different capacities and categories. There are pedestrians, passengers and drivers. As you travel through the road of life, it is crucial that you come to terms with the traits of each of these categories of people and decide where you fall.

PEDESTRIANS
TAKE a look at any highway and you’ll see pedestrians. A pedestrian is a person who travels on foot, especially in an area also used by cars. Pedestrians don’t walk in the middle of the road. They avoid getting in the way of the cars on the road. Even when they have to cross the road, they wait for the cars to stop or pass by before they cross. Because of risks and potential dangers on the road, they spend most of their time on the side lines. Some pedestrians specialise in commenting on how people drive and so on.

Likewise, on the highway of life you will find those who walk on the side lines. They like to play it safe. They do not participate in the important issues of life. They like to mind their own business. They believe that if they get involved, they would be knocked down by the cars on the road. Pedestrians are apathetic, unimaginative and uninspired. They play in the realm of conservatism and don’t take initiatives. Worse, they spend a chunk of their time criticising, instead of contributing to what others are doing.

PASSENGERS
PASSENGERS travel in a motor vehicle, train, aircraft or ship, but do not drive or belong to the crew. Nevertheless, they are among those who operate on the highway of life. Typically, passengers sit in a vehicle and end up at wherever the vehicle will deposit them. They do not control the functioning, direction and speed of the vehicle they travel in. But you see, any accident that occurs will have an impact on them.

In a wider perspective, passengers are persons who seemingly participate in life but do not influence the course of events. These are people who only enjoy what is available without making any additions to life. Passengers do not initiate change, progress and development. They just flow with the tide. Any society that is full of passengers will not experience meaningful progress. Such a society will always be at the mercy of their environment.

DRIVERS
ANYBODY can be a pedestrian or passenger. No special skills or qualifications are required to be on the side lines of the street as a pedestrian or get on board a vehicle as a passenger. But then when it comes to driving, one has to attain a minimum legal age, learn the skills of driving and get certified by the licensing authority. This is because driving is no joke. It is serious business. If a driver messes up, it could have devastating effects on the pedestrians, passengers, the driver, the vehicle involved and the wider society.

Drivers call the shots in every society. These are the people we call leaders. They are the movers and shakers of our world. They make things happen. Without such people society will be static, if not retrogressive. If there are no leaders in the society, there will be no meaningful progress. People who take time to develop themselves are able to drive society towards its aspirations.

If everybody decides to be a pedestrian or passenger, how do you think our society will be? It would probably mean that we would all be looking at each other and hoping that somebody would take a step. But if everybody decides to drive, it would imply that everybody is controlling their own destination and influencing an aspect of society. In a vehicle, it is the driver who determines the destination of the vehicle and thus the passengers.

ARE YOU…?
THIS is my task for you. Spend some time alone and consider whether you are a pedestrian, passenger or driver. Assess what your view of life is. Do you think that the government is responsible for your well-being? Or do you see yourself playing any role in life? Ask yourself these and many more questions and identify who you are.

© 2011 Terry Mante
Accra, Ghana