CRYING WINNERS, DANCING LOSERS

“Day comes after night. If you give up in the plight of the night, you will not live to harness the light of day.”

FOR MANY soccer lovers who followed the European soccer season in 1998/1999, the UEFA Champions League’s crowning battle between German side Bayern Munich and English club Manchester United will remain unforgettable. The match is best remembered as Manchester United scored two last-minute goals in injury time to win 2–1, after having trailed for most of the match. The game's ending was so unexpected that then UEFA President Lennart Johansson had left his seat in the stands before Manchester United’s equalizer to make his way down to the pitch in order to present the trophy, already decorated with Bayern ribbons. When he emerged from the tunnel at the final whistle, he was stunned. “I can't believe it,” he later said, “The winners are crying and the losers are dancing.” Bayern’s only goal had come in the sixth minute of the game and if they had not conceded those goals in the ninetieth and ninety-second minutes, they would have been crowned champions for that season.

BAYERN’S BLUES
BAYERN’S loss can speak to us in many ways. When you start well, you must endeavour to finish well. A good beginning does not guarantee a good finish. A plush wedding will not naturally lead to a great marriage. Inasmuch as it is good to lay good foundations, the roof of our efforts are also important. A little mistake and your life will be shattered. Don’t take anything for granted. At every stage of your life, strive to be on top of your game. Don’t let anything take you by surprise. Don’t celebrate until you receive the trophy. In business, no matter how much you trust the other party don’t put the cart before the horse. Don’t move until the deal is signed. If you want to be a champion in life, never count your chicks before your eggs hatch. You’ve got to hold on to your mettle until the final whistle is blown.

UNITED’S U-TURN
ON THE other hand, we can learn from Manchester United’s fortune in that encounter. You can dance even if you are losing. You can smile in your sadness. You can go up when things are going down. You can win when you are being defeated. How is that possible? All you’ve got to do is to adopt the posture that “it’s not over until it’s over.” You may not start in a promising way but you can end in a predominant manner. In the Bible, we learn from Ecclesiastes 7:8 that “The end of a matter is better than its beginning (NIV).” It’s possible to start life poor and end up wealthy. You could be at the bottom of your class but you can be at the top of a thriving corporate entity.

Don’t give up when life is tough. If you are a lady and you are not married, don’t feel you are too old to be married. Even in your menopause phase, you can still meet Mr Right. Nobody should write themselves off in life simply because they think it’s too late. The sun rises only after a dark night. When everything around you is dark, do not commit suicide; do not kill your expectations. Remember that day comes after night. If you give up in the plight of the night, you will not live to harness the light of day.

FINE FINISH
TO BECOME a dancing loser or a dancing winner, I offer these five guidelines:
1. Focus on your ultimate objective
2. Remain hopeful even when there is no reason to do so
3. Give off your best all the time
4. Don’t stop fighting when the fight is not over
5. Make every moment of your life count

I don’t know the field you operate in but I don’t want you to declare the finality of your life when there could be further opportunities in the future. Even when you feel weary and worn out, remember that there is injury time ahead and that could be your time of opportunity. If you are already winning, stay on the winning path. Don’t quit. Winners never quit.

© 2011 Terry Mante
PEDNET
Accra, Ghana

WHERE ARE YOU?

To keep your goals alive, constantly remind yourself of what you set yourself to achieve

SEEING WHERE YOU ARE
ONCE a while it’s good to pause and ask yourself; “Where am I?” This question is not an enquiry about your geographical location; it queries your location in light of your dreams and aspirations. Many companies ask this question of their staff. They call it performance evaluation. It is usually done to assess the delivery of employees vis-à-vis their job description and corporate goals. Such an exercise enables the company to measure their successes and shortfalls so they can take steps to ensure optimum results.

In our personal lives, such an assessment could be useful. It helps us to evaluate our goals and to establish how far we’ve reached with their execution. At some point in life, we need to pause and check where we are. Normally when I’m travelling and it’s a long journey, I like to have an estimate of the duration and distance that the journey covers beforehand. What I often do en route is that I consistently look at my watch to ascertain how long I’ve been on the road and to get an estimate of how much more time I shall spend on the road. I also pay attention to signposts indicating the distance I have to cover ahead of me. This often helps me to track whether or not I’m within schedule. When I do that it helps me to plan effectively and to operate efficiently. I’m able to manage all my appointments appropriately.

As we travel through life, it’s important that we constantly assess our routes to ascertain whether or not we are on the right path; whether we should slow down or move faster; change route or keep moving in same direction.

SENSITIVITY TO YOUR GOALS
IF YOU forget your goals, you cannot evaluate them. Therefore it is important that we keep our goals in perspective. Many people set great goals at the beginning of the year but by the end of the third month, those goals would have evaporated from their minds. Such people go through the rest of the year without any compelling dream. And all too soon, they find that the year is at its end and they find themselves wanting. When you set any target, the last thing that should happen to it is to allow it to escape from your life. What you need to do to keep your goals alive is to constantly remind yourself of what you set out to achieve. Do this on a daily basis.

In order not to forget the goals you set, it will be prudent to write them down. Keep the written document at a place where you will see it everyday and make sure that you take small steps daily. When it’s time for evaluation, that document could come in handy.

SECOND LOOK AT YOUR GOALS
A GOAL is an intended destination. We all know that to reach a destination, we must follow a path. Every time we set a goal, we also determine some action points. Take a look at what you said you would do and what you have done. Measure and establish the gaps between your goals and your prevailing reality. Establish the causes of the gaps and think of ways to bridge the gaps as you move along. Sometimes, you may have to adjust your goals or change them completely.

SINCERE ASSESSMENT OF YOURSELF
IN ASSESSING ourselves, we need to be honest in our conclusions. We should be realistic. I think that each of us could be our own best judges if we would adopt a posture of sincerity. I have to be able to say to me that, “Ah Terry! That is a lousy move.” I should be able to reprimand myself for the bad choices I make. That way, I could step up and move in the right direction. I heard former British Prime Minister Tony Blair say that anytime he made a silly move a cabinet member would say something like, “That is a pretty bold move, Mr Prime Minister.” Under those circumstances, he had to be smart enough to know that he was heading in the wrong direction. If we are not honest with ourselves, no one would deal with us honestly. Sometimes people may not have the courage or sincerity to tell us that we are messing up. We must deal honestly with ourselves; and by that we’ll be doing ourselves lots of good.

© 2011 Terry Mante
PEDNET
Accra, Ghana

Originally written in September 2009 and edited for the Business and Financial Times (Lifestyle edition) of Friday July 8, 2011

THE POWER OF SELF-IDENTITY

“If you do not have a positive self-identity, you cannot live a positive life. While it’s good to have ears for others, never see yourself only through the eyes of others.”

ITALIAN dramatist and poet Ugo Betti (1892-1953) remarked that, “There is always a certain peace in being what one is, in being that completely.” The greatest success in life is just to be who you are. Apart from being you, you cannot be successful at being anybody else. You can only be the best you. You cannot be the best of your friends, parents or role models. To experience real peace and inner fulfilment, we have to be true to who we are. If you are driven by the desire to be another person, then there would be no need for your existence on earth because you will be a fake. The world has no room for people who are not real. You’ve got to be an original you.

In moving through life, it is important that you come to terms with who you are and live out that identity. There is no way you can make your life count without counting your life. If you don’t say “I am” nobody will say “You are.” Quite often when I meet a person for the first time I introduce myself; I stretch out for a handshake and say something like, “Hello! I am Terry Mante and I am pleased to meet you.” Then the other person normally responds, “Hi Terry! I am pleased to meet you too.” In such a situation, the person is able to call my name because I say “I am Terry Mante.” From then onwards, the person deals with me as Terry. The way you identify yourself determines how the world identifies you and responds to you.

Addled inventor
Identification is your platform for engagement in life. The reason I write and speak is because I have identified myself as an author and speaker. If I had recognised myself as a singer, I would have been making music. In 1854, when Reverend G. B. Engle belittled one of his students as “addled,” the seven-year old boy got infuriated and moved out of the Port Huron Michigan School. He moved out because he did not see himself as addled or confused but he saw himself as an inventor. He did not stay in the school to try to impress his teacher. He moved on to live up to his self-identity. This boy grew up to become the man we all know as Thomas Edison. By the time he died in 1931 at the age of 84, Edison had gone on record as America’s most prolific inventor with over a thousand patents for such marvels as microphone, telephone receiver, record player, motion picture projection, office copiers, incandescent electric light and many more. Don’t accept tags placed on you by others unless they affirm your own self-identity.

Ali, the greatest
Long before he was recognised as Heavyweight Champion of the World, boxing legend Muhammad Ali identified himself as one. He started dreaming about it at 14; he was sure that one day he would be the Heavyweight Champion of the World. At that time his only worry was that he couldn’t “even beat anybody in [his] own gym.” So he asked his trainer Joe Martin, “Can I?” Martin’s response was depressing. Ali narrates in his autobiography that Martin shook his head doubtfully and said, “You hardly weigh a hundred and fifteen pounds soaking wet. You know how big a heavyweight is? Maybe you could be a lightweight.”

But Ali knew his identity. He knew who he was and what he could be. His response to Martin’s remarks was affirmative, “But I want ‘heavyweight.’ Somehow, although no one on either side of my family is that big, I feel I will be.” He moved away from Martin and the next day he began to do things that affirmed the conviction he had of himself. He trained earnestly and watched fights on TV with even keener interest. And now with the benefit of hindsight, we know that Martin was wrong and Ali was right. He did not allow Martins’ definition to inform him. He was driven by his conviction and by 1980 he had become a three-time Heavyweight Champion of the World.

Put on your own lens
If you do not have a positive self-identity, you cannot live a positive life. While it’s good to have ears for others, never see yourself only through the eyes of others. See yourself through the eyes of your convictions and aspirations. “You cannot consistently perform in a manner that is inconsistent with the way you see yourself,” says American author Zig Ziglar.


© 2011 Terry Mante
PEDNET
Accra, Ghana