In our
school days, whenever a student did well at the end-of-semester examinations,
it was not uncommon to hear them say “I got an ‘A.’” However, if it turned out
that the student performed abysmally, one was likely to hear them complain that
“The lecturer gave me a ‘D.’” Why is it that when the grade is good, they say “I
got” and when the grade is not good, the mantra is that “The lecturer gave me?”
Very often, I read stories about accused persons who plead for clemency
in the law courts on grounds that the devil caused them to commit the offences
they were being tried for. Devil indeed!
What about people who blame government for every misfortune in their
lives? When they run out of cash, it’s the fault of the government. When they
are late for work, they blame the government for not managing the flow of
traffic well enough. Could the person with cash flow challenges take a second
look at their spending behaviour? Could the late employee try to leave home a
bit earlier in order to avoid being late?
I know that we will not always be in control of all the factors we
require for success but we should also realize that we always have a part to
play. Before you take a swipe at the system or the devil, consider whether you
have done your homework. So I ask you, “Have you done what you are supposed to
do?”
Years ago, I wrote a book captioned Attitude is
Everything. I prefaced that book with a
pearl of wisdom from Confucius. This ancient sage of Chinese philosophy taught
that “To put the world in order, we must first put the nation in order; to put
the nation in order, we must put the family in order; to put the family in
order, we must first cultivate our personal life; and to cultivate our personal
life, we must first set our hearts right.”
We all want the world to be a better place. We want the economy of our
country to improve. We wish the fortunes of our families would experience a
turnaround. However, we sometimes fail to see that we, as individuals are
primary constituents of our families, nations and the world as a whole. The
state of the world, nation and family is a reflection of the state of
individuals who constitute the whole.
Even though it is important to hold government accountable, we must
also endeavour to play our role. You must take responsibility for your personal
life. Your employer may be paying you peanuts but how you deploy your peanuts
is your own business. Your spouse may be cheating on you but if you decide to
seek revenge by doing likewise, that is up to you. Other road users may jump
the red light but if you do same and traffic police stops you, it’s on your
head.
Even though other people and some extenuating situations could have an
effect on us, we are ultimately responsible for the final outcome of our lives.
If we decide to take charge of our lives, we can produce the effects we desire.
Whatever will be in your life is up to you.
You must be definite about what you want in life. Sometimes, what you
want will be in sharp contrast to the prevailing realities of your life but you
must determine to drive yourself towards what you want. It’s time to own your
life. Don’t be a passenger or a pedestrian in your own life. Be a driver. Get
yourself where you want to be.
Again, from my book Attitude is
Everything, I clarify that “The difference
between those who give up or mess up and those who consistently progress is
neither in the succulence of opportunities one has nor in the intricacies of
challenges that confront a person. To me, the real difference is in the way we
respond to situations.”
© 2014 Terry Mante
CEO, Personal Development Network (PEDNET)
Accra, Ghana
Tel: +233.267.186.420
