CHOOSE YOUR RESPONSE

Note: This piece is culled from Terry Mante's book titled Attitude is Everything! Enjoy

THE winds of life always blow. Sometimes they blow towards the direction we are headed so we ride along comfortably. It is also possible for the winds to blow contrary to your course. Such a situation can inhibit your march to success. When you face opposition, what do you do. In his ministry, the Apostle Paul who is regarded as the most influential leader of the early church faced vehement opposition. He was battered, imprisoned, chained, criticised, betrayed and conspired against. In spite of all that, he told the Corinthian church that, “We are hard-pressed on every side, yet not crushed; perplexed, but not forsaken; struck down but not destroyed” (2 Corinthians 4:8-9, NKJV).

Paul admits his storms but refuses to allow them to dictate the course of his life. In his moment of despondency, he acknowledges the grace of God as his strength and declares that “when I am weak, then I am strong.”

Inside out
You don’t have so much control over what happens to you but you can certainly determine your response to what happens to you. If (s)he refuses to marry you, it doesn’t mean your end has arrived. The end comes if you do not see beyond that person and move on. If you’ve messed up in any area of your life, don’t close the pages yet. You can begin a new chapter of your life. Irrespective of what happens, it is always possible to choose your response. When you fall, you can choose to either remain down or rise up. Don’t be reflexive in your reaction. Consciously choose your response.

From gloom to bloom
There is a man whose life gives me and many others so much inspiration. His parents were broke. His mother died when he was nine. His first attempt at business drove him into huge debts when his partner died suddenly. His initial bid to become a legislator in the local assembly failed miserably. There were times he had to walk several times to borrow textbooks just because he could not afford any means of transportation. Later on, he tried to secure the vice presidential slot of his nation but even his party’s nomination eluded him. He is someone whose life saw vicissitudes. It would be reasonable for any person who experiences this kind of life to count themselves as complete failures. The gentleman I’m talking about is the fellow we all know as the sixteenth president of the United States. Abraham Lincoln.

President Lincoln had every reason to terminate his life. But he did not! He chose to focus on his future possibilities rather than his immediate challenges. Like Lincoln, you too can decide to focus on the possibilities of your life and turn your stumbling blocks into stepping stones. He used the experience of his personal pain to take America through the soreness of the civil war which culminated in the capitulation of the despicable institution of slavery.

Go through
See your problems as signposts on your road to success. Matthew Ashimolowo entreats that, “There must be a process before prosperity. Tea bag must go through hot water to give off its flavour” Sally Aw Sian does not mince words when she says, “Life’s challenges spur you on to greater efforts, train you to meet subsequent challenges and finally provide you with the moral and spiritual fibre to avoid arrogance in success and despair in failure.”

Your present crises are part of your preparation towards your intended destination. See the advantages in them and learn the necessary lessons. Life is a journey; and that journey is not smooth. On the road of life, you will certainly encounter potholes, speed rumps, bridges and gutters. You have to manoeuvre your way through these impediments to arrive at your destination. When you hit a road block, don’t retreat. Keep moving!

© 2012 Terry Mante
Personal Development Network (PEDNET)
Accra, Ghana

REMEMBER YOUR ORIGINAL DREAM

ONE OF the most exciting things that can happen to any person is to conceive a dream, particularly one that begets restlessness. A restless dream is one that moves you to act. It is a dream that does not make you live in peace until you take steps to pursue it.

Restlessness provokes you into action. When your dream provokes you into action, you are driven by optimism, passion and excitement. At this stage of your pursuit, you are aroused by your dream. You are very much in love with your dream. You believe it is achievable. Nobody or nothing can stop you. You have enough energy to surmount every obstacle that comes your way. You talk about it all day to everybody who cares to listen. It becomes your central focus.

Then beyond the excitement phase, routine steps into the picture. The routine phase is when you get so used to everything you’ve been doing. Here, things seem monotonous, uninspiring and ineffective. Somehow, your initial passion evaporates and boredom takes a seat in your life.

In this routine phase, many people lose faith in their dreams. They park themselves on the side lines of their pursuit and watch boredom drive their dreams away. Have you seen how two people who are crazily in love with one another lose their zest for the relationship and fall out of love with each other? It is very common to see a man do everything he can to win the love and commitment of a woman only to get tired after few months into the relationship. Or a woman puts up her best behaviour to win the attention of Prince Charming only to realise later that the Prince is just as human as other men.

Routine does not mean loss of essence. It just means that you have conquered one stage in your journey towards your dream and that it is time to move on to the next level. When you feel tempted to abandon your dream because of boredom, cast your mind back to the beginning and ask yourself if this is where you initially set out to be. If you do this with sincerity, you will realise two things. First, you have moved from where you were earlier. You have certainly made progress. Second, you will see that even though you have made progress, you have not fully achieved what you set out to achieve.

When you draw these two conclusions, you will embrace the fact that there is still something ahead. Where you are is not your dream land. The dream land is still in front of you. As human as we are, we would experience the flatness of boredom but we should not allow it to drive us to apathy or retrogression.

What can you do about your dreams when routine sets in and introduces you to boredom? I say to you, remember your original dream. The most dangerous threat to your dream is not boredom or tough challenges. The most dangerous threat to your dream is forgetfulness. Forgetfulness would make you lose focus on your dreams. It will make you concentrate on the challenges along the way and the convenience of giving up.

The next thing to do is to step up. To step up means you should lift your game. Operate at a new level. Upgrade your knowledge. Connect with new people. Adapt to new technology. Pray for spiritual renewal. Learn new skills. Stepping up reinvigorates you and gives you new enthusiasm. It moves you closer and higher to where you want to go. If you step up, your capacity will inevitably expand to accommodate the next level of your dream. Remember, the junction of boredom is not your destination.

After stepping up, make a solemn commitment to see your dream through. Decide that you will not give up until you win. Your original goal is always the main goal. Don’t settle for anything less than your original goal. Let it be your minimum standard.


© July 2012 Terry Mante
Personal Development Network (PEDNET)
E:: terrymante@live.com
Accra, Ghana

INSIDE OUT: How to discover yourself from within

Now to Him who is able to do exceedingly abundantly above all that we ask or think, according to the power that works in us – Ephesians 3:20 (NKJV)

Power that works in you
It is intriguing to see how babies grow up to become strong and responsible adults. Babies are pure, innocent and fragile. They are so vulnerable and defenceless that even the slightest denial of care and attention could jeopardise their life. In spite of their fragility, they grow to become agile men and women.

Just as a baby who is abandoned cannot evolve to experience adulthood, so will intellect, desires and capabilities that are not tapped remain in eternal cold storage. Responsible parents who know that their children will eventually become adults provide the children with clothing, shelter, food and everything else necessary to ensure that they grow healthily.

When you look at your life, what possibilities do you envisage would pour out? What are you capable of becoming which you are not? What are you doing about these possibilities and capabilities? Are you exploring or ignoring them?

A single word to describe these possibilities and capabilities is POTENTIAL. If you ignore your potential, you cannot maximise your life. But if you explore it, you will experience a full life. The destiny of every person is not in a country, religion or someone else. It is buried in your potential. Your job is to pursue it and exhume it.

Fire that burns in you
Famous American civil rights activist Martin Luther King (1929-1968) challenged that, “A man who won’t die for something is not fit to live.” First century church leader Paul was so driven by the desire to spread the gospel of Jesus Christ that in spite of warnings of imprisonment and hardships, he didn’t make a U-turn. He audaciously responded, “I consider my life worth nothing to me, if only I may finish the race and complete the task the Lord Jesus has given me – the task of testifying to the gospel of God’s grace.” Fanatic?! Crazy?! Disillusioned?!

What in the world will make people want to sacrifice their lives for a cause? For King, it was a desire to see an end to racial segregation in America and the rest of the world. In Paul’s case, he was ready to preach God’s word even to death. In every human being, there is something that drives us. This inner drive differs in every person.

It is called passion. Passion is an understanding you have which no one around you has. It is an interest you have that consumes you. It is a job you will gladly do even if nobody recognises or rewards you for it. Passion is the first thing you think about when you wake from sleep. It is that which makes you extremely happy or sad. It is that segment of the news which always catches your attention. Passion is the dominant theme of your conversations. Passion is not something you study for in school or emulate from others. It is something you are born with. It is inherent. It is at the centre of your being. It is part of who you are. Everybody has it. You have it too.

Tools that sit in you
One thing that became very clear to me when I was in high school was my literary ability. I realised that I scored excellent marks in subjects like History, English, Social Studies and Economics without much struggle. Somehow, I knew how to present facts and write essays in a way that impressed my teachers. I guess it was also because I often read texts and notes on those subjects.

For Economics, I read all the notes and skipped all the graphs and diagrams – every one of them. With regards to Mathematics, I never studied on my own until I had assignments to complete. Even with the subjects that I was inclined to study a lot, I scored higher marks in answering essay-type questions than in answering multiple-choice questions. I often wondered why. Also, I was not particularly enthused about Science and Mathematics. I only studied them because they were required courses. And that was a grave bother to me.

Now, connecting the dots, everything makes sense to me. I have discovered that I am naturally wired for literature. I am not wired for science or arithmetic. Neither am I for music or athletics. Your wiring or natural inclination to be good at something is called talent. Talent is the instinctive, inherent and intuitive ability to perform with ease and finesse in a particular field. Again, talent is not something you learn. It is something you are born with and it lies within you.


TALENT is your vehicle. Passion is your fuel and potential is your destination. The good news is that, all three are found in you. Discover, develop and deploy your talent. Feed your passion and work to become the best you can be.


© July 2012 Terry Mante
Personal Development Network (PEDNET)
Accra, Ghana