STAGES OF ACHIEVEMENT 2

"Don’t drown in excitement when you achieve something good. See beyond the excitement of the moment and think" - Terry Mante

RECAP OF PART ONE
Many people wish to experience the joy, fulfilment and satisfaction that accompany remarkable achievements. The process of achievement is analogous to the process of having a baby. If you want to achieve something in your life, the first step to take is to conceive an idea or a dream. After conception, you must acquire the capacity to go through the gestation phase of your dream.

If you are interested in seeing the full piece, use this link: http://terrymante.blogspot.com/2012/03/stages-of-achievement-1-conception-and.html. Now I continue from where we left off in part one.

GESTATION
GESTATION is the period between conception of a dream and actual fulfilment of the dream. Gestation phase could be the most uncomfortable stage on your way to getting something realised. During the gestation period, you need to guard your dreams against two major obstacles.

1. Abortion: Abortion is any activity or intervention that culminates in the death of your dream. This is usually done to rid the dream carrier of stigma, discomfort or criticism. This usually happens if the carrier has neither the maturity nor context to pursue the dream.

If you have a dream and you believe your dream is appropriate, then you have to be careful not to abort it, irrespective of the pressure that mounts. Don’t abort your dream. Hold on to it with patience and persistence.

2. Miscarriage: When your dream terminates involuntarily at a stage prior to its manifestation, it is called miscarriage. It is when you lose focus on your dream and stop pursuing it. It happens not as a result of a deliberate intention to stop it but you just drift away to focus on seemingly easier-to-pursue objectives and in the end you lose your dream.

If you don’t take deliberate steps to protect the dreams of your life, you will lose them. You have to make a conscious effort to prevent any accidental death of your dreams.

DELIVERY
AFTER successfully going through the gestation period, you get to the point of delivery. This is where you begin to see the manifestation of your dreams. You begin to see your ideas bearing fruits. A pregnant woman who carries a baby in her womb for nine months gives birth not to a man or a woman. She gives birth to a baby, and then nurtures the baby to eventually become a fully grown man or woman.

Likewise, after working so hard on your idea or dream, results begin to show in bits. No matter how big your dream is, your results will come in trickles. What you have to do at that time is not to despise the little results. You must have the excitement of a woman who gets a newborn baby at the end of a challenging period of pregnancy. She forgets all the pain and discomfort of pregnancy and labour and receives the newborn with joy.

If you work so hard and you have little results, don’t lose steam. Every great person was once a baby with complete innocence. What you have to do is to be glad and move to the next stage of your achievement process.

PARENTHOOD
IT’S ONE thing giving birth to a baby and another raising that child to become a healthy and responsible person. Responsible mothers don’t abandon their babies. They make it a point to nurture them with values and principles that make their children grow to become responsible adults.

If you give birth to a dream, you have to be responsible enough to nurture it to a level where it becomes sustainable and significant. You need a great deal of managerial and leadership capabilities to grow your achievements into huge significant feats. Don’t drown in excitement when you achieve something good. See beyond the excitement of the moment and think about how you can make your achievements great and monumental.

RELEASE
IN FEBRUARY 2012, Ken Ofori-Atta handed over his executive functions at Databank to his long time friend and colleague Keli Gadzekpo. What Ken did is what every good parent does. They procreate, raise their children and release them to lead their own lives. Ken led a group of people to start the company in 1990 and after two decades of growing the entity to become a leading investment bank in Ghana and West Africa, he decided to step down and allow the company to have a life of its own.

When you achieve your dream, grow it. Institute systems that will facilitate the growth of your idea. Don’t die with your achievements. Don’t just work for success. Work for a successor so your works continue to touch humanity long after you depart this earthly realm.


© 2012 Terry Mante
PEDNET
Accra, Ghana

STAGES OF ACHIEVEMENT 1 - Conception and Gestation

“For many women who get blessed with the fruit of the womb, the feeling of ecstasy, fulfilment and satisfaction replaces all the discomfort that tagged the pregnancy and the painful pangs of labour.” - Terry Mante

YOUR BABY
IN JUNE 2008, when young Jamie Lynn Spears, sister of US pop singer Britney Spears had a baby, she described it as “the best feeling in the world.” For many women who get blessed with the fruit of the womb, the feeling of ecstasy, fulfilment and satisfaction replaces all the discomfort that tagged the pregnancy and the painful pangs of labour.

“The best feeling in the world” is the feeling you get when you commit your ability, effort, intellect and emotion to accomplish something remarkable. Many people spend their lives in pursuit of that feeling. It is a feeling that is difficult to describe with words or even gestures but when you get it, you know it. It comes when you get your own baby – when you achieve a dream you have held long in your heart.

That feeling doesn’t come naturally. You work your way to it. You do things to get it. You move through different stages, just as a woman passes through different phases to get a baby. I’m going to use the analogy of having a baby to illustrate how you can achieve your dreams and experience true fulfilment.

CONCEPTION
CONCEPTION is the first step towards having a baby. A baby is the product of a conception – when a sperm fertilises an egg to begin what we call pregnancy. Likewise, if you want to have a baby of your own, you must conceive. You must grasp a dream and couch it in concrete terms. You must have a clue of what you want. It is called idea. To conceive an idea, few things must happen:

1. Maturity: A lady who has not gone through the stage of puberty (where she has her menses) cannot conceive and have a baby. Neither can a male who has not reached the stage of puberty (when he can release sperms) make a woman pregnant. Until a person matures to the stage of puberty, there is no way such a person can conceive.

To conceive an idea worthy of pursuit in your life, you must necessarily attain the stage of maturity. Maturity is a stage of life where you are fully grown and developed with enough mental, physical and emotional capacity to bear the responsibility of carrying a dream. Mature people have the capacity to come up with compelling dreams that become their objects of pursuit.

2. Intercourse: The fact of being mature does not automatically engender conception. Maturity gives capacity to conceive. Intercourse activates capacity and enables a person to conceive.

In your mature stage, you must be able to effectively engage your emotional, mental and physical capacity to process information, thoughts, mistakes, failures, discoveries, national events and everything that has ever crossed your path. The evidence of your engagement with life will be packaged in the dreams you pursue and the ideas you hold on to.

3. Context: Conception is moderated by context. Take the case of a twelve year-old in junior high school who gets pregnant. At that age and stage of life, getting pregnant may not be the smartest thing to do. The person might have the physical maturity but may not have enough financial and mental muscle to carry the weight and consequences of pregnancy.

When you desire a vision, it is essential that you examine the context before you begin to run. Context is measured by timeliness, opportunity, resourcefulness, consequences and life station. Without a proper context, your dream could be a terrifying nightmare.

GESTATION
BETWEEN conception and birth, there is a space of time. This space of time is called gestation. Loads of changes occur in the life of a pregnant woman – physiological adjustments, dietary specificities, new exercise routines, maternity clothing and so on. A pregnant woman behaves differently from when she was not pregnant or another woman who is not pregnant. She has to adjust her lifestyle in order to protect the baby she carries in her womb.

Likewise, a person who is pregnant with a dream must know how to go through the gestation phase of that pregnancy. The gestation period is the time when you discipline yourself to adjust to a new lifestyle for the sake of your dreams. If you want to protect your dream and ensure that you deliver that dream safely, take note of the following:

1. Place: A pregnant woman makes regular visits to the hospital for pre-natal care. Those visits are critical to the success or failure of the pregnancy.

When you have a dream that means so much to you, you will go to the right places. The right place is where you find experts, mentors and like-minded people who believe in your dream, know how your dream can be nurtured and will be willing to offer whatever you need.

2. Diet: Pregnant women who want to deliver healthy babies are cautious about what they take in. Some things they take in are completely new to them. Sometimes, they stop taking in certain things they enjoy because it could harm the baby in the womb.

Any person who is pregnant with an idea must reorient their appetite. They must have a desire for new knowledge. They must reorganise their value system and adopt a culture that facilitates the dream they carry. They must also be willing to suppress their appetite for things that could hinder the success of their pursuit.

Note: For the concluding part of this piece, use this link: http://terrymante.blogspot.com/2012/03/stages-of-achievement-2.html.

© March 2012 Terry Mante
PEDNET
Accra, Ghana

TRAITS OF CONFIDENCE

“No one can make you feel inferior without your consent. Never give it.” – Eleanor Roosevelt (1884-1962)

IN THE introduction of my book Winning with Confidence, I broadly define a confident person as one who is strong-willed, independent and God-focused.

STRONG-WILLED
TO BE strong-willed means you are unbending. I like to explain it in these three terms:

1. Conviction: To have conviction means to be certain and unwavering about your dreams, beliefs, principles and values. Lack of conviction would produce inconsistencies and instability in your life. To have crystal enduring results, it is useful to be firm in your heart. You must be sure of what you want and live your life in pursuit of it.

2. Commitment: When you are confident about something, you sell yourself to it. There is no better way to express confidence than to commit yourself to what you profess to be confident in. being merely aggressive is not as solid a sign of commitment as proving that you are committed. You show commitment by devoting your talents, time, intellect and other resources to what you believe in.

3. Character: Character is who you are at all times. Your conviction would dovetail into your personality. For you to be the same person at all times requires that you have conviction. Your confidence gives you the nerve to hold on to your values and moral principles in the midst of the most tempting situations. When you have a consistent personality, you earn the trust of people.

INDEPENDENT
TO BE independent implies that you are in charge of your life. Three qualities define an independent person.

1. Sense of responsibility: Every human being living on earth has a divine task to perform. It’s up to us to recognise this task and spend our lives fulfilling it. Once you discover your assignment, it must become imperative to you. People who grasp their purpose in life would not be tossed by every new wave that hits town. The main thing that should drive your life is your purpose.

2. Self-motivation: A confident person knows what they are about in life so they are able to initiate action. They develop the capacity to launch themselves into their dreams. They don’t wait to be told what to do. Internally-motivated people acts out of their own conviction and understanding.

3. Sense of security: Here, I am talking about emotional well-being and liberty. One of the most basic needs of humans is to be accepted by others and be treated with respect and dignity. When people accept and respect you, it boosts your confidence. Nevertheless, not everybody would accept you at all times. That is why you must be content with yourself. Really, when people’s high opinion of you is contrary to how you feel about yourself, they will eventually be empowered to abuse you. If the abuse persists, you are likely to lose your sense of value. I agree with former US First Lady Eleanor Roosevelt that, “No one can make you feel inferior without your consent. Never give it.” To ‘never give it,’ you must learn to accept yourself.

GOD-FOCUSED
THERE is no better confidence booster than having God as the ultimate reason for your existence. To be able to do this, three conditions must be fulfilled.

1. Deliverance from sin: This kind of deliverance is known in Christian circles as salvation. According to the Cambridge Dictionary, “salvation of a person or their spirit is the state of being saved from evil and its effects by the death of Jesus Christ on a cross.”

Sometimes, people do not radiate confidence because of their personal inadequacies. No matter how hard you try, you cannot obliterate your imperfections. But Jesus offers a solution. By His crucifixion, our sins are taken care of. He shed his blood to wash away our imperfections. If you admit your weaknesses and offload them to Him, you will be liberated from their hold

2. Delight in God: By taking pleasure in the things of God, your deepest needs and aspirations will be met. With such needs met, confident is what you will be.

3. Desire to please God: Anybody who truly desires to please God is 100 per cent assured of peace, prosperity and blessings.

IT IS my hope that your journey of life will be a confident march; one that you would really relish.


© March 2012 Terry Mante
PEDNET
Accra, Ghana

FACES OF INTIMACY

Intimacy is about creating an atmosphere where people can really be themselves in spite of their differences and still feel loved and appreciated." - Terry Mante

WHAT IS INTIMACY?
HUMANS have an inherent need to be accepted and loved by other humans. Intimate relationships provide a context for this need to be met. When there is intimacy in relationships, it creates a platform for the sharing of genuine love and absolute trust. However, people in relationships must acknowledge that intimacy does not happen by itself. It is diligently cultivated by the parties involved.

In every relationship, the partners must make it a point to develop intimacy. Developing intimacy is a process that goes on throughout the life of the relationship. Intimacy is the continual sharing of experiences, beliefs, values, feelings and resources.

When you want to build intimacy in a romantic relationship such as marriage, you do so holistically. It must involve the emotions, intellect, spirituality and physique of both parties. If you neglect any aspect of intimacy, your relationship will never have the certainty of stability.

SPIRITUAL INTIMACY
MANY people prioritise sexuality over spirituality in relationships. While sexual intimacy is an essential component of romantic relationships, spiritual intimacy is critical. If spiritual intimacy is weak, all other aspects of intimacy will be deficient. Spiritual intimacy is the interaction that occurs between the parties about the meaning and significance of life, beliefs about the universe, morality, as well as ideas about God and humanity.

Spiritual intimacy closes the gap between the two parties in the relationship. It provides a basis for the other faces of intimacy to fit in.

INTELLECTUAL INTIMACY
COUPLES must learn to connect intellectually. They must be able to communicate and discuss their thoughts on fashion, religion, politics, sports, business and education. The goal of this discourse is not to agree but to understand how each other thinks. Intellectual intimacy enables people in relationships to understand how their partner processes ideas and what they think about very topical issues. This will help you to appreciate each other better.

SOCIAL INTIMACY
SOCIAL intimacy is about cultivating and sharing interests outside of yourselves. It is connections you have with external parties such as friends, family members, work colleagues and school mates. It is also about sharing your interests in such activities as festivities, parties and so on. Again, the objective is not to necessarily like what your partner likes but to be able to discuss freely and appreciate each other better.

EMOTIONAL INTIMACY
FEELINGS are a big part of every relationship. Partners must endeavour to know and understand how each party feels about issues. This sort of understanding helps people to develop sensitivity for each other and ensures that hurts are minimised. Inevitably, people will sometimes get hurt in relationships but emotional intimacy will help them to work through their hurts.

PHYSICAL INTIMACY
THERE cannot be a perfect romantic relationship without physical intimacy. In a relationship, physical intimacy is analogous to the roof of a building. It covers the relationship externally and seals the foundation laid by the other faces of intimacy. This kind of intimacy is widely expressed through holding of hands, hugging, shaking of hands and patting on the back. The highest form of physical intimacy is sexual intercourse. The context for such intimacy must be proper and fitting. You have to note that physical intimacy is void if the other aspects of intimacy are not cultivated adequately.

THE GOAL OF INTIMACY
INTIMACY is not about eliminating differences. It is about creating an atmosphere where people can really be themselves in spite of their differences and still feel loved and appreciated. It gives clarity to the peculiarities that characterise each individual and helps promote healthy and progressive relationships.

People in relationships are unique and distinct in their own way. Thus for relationships to succeed, there has to be understanding of the uniqueness and distinction that are embodied in each person. Intimacy delivers such understanding and helps you to accommodate each other.

© March 2012 Terry Mante
PEDNET
Accra, Ghana

DEVELOPING YOUR PERSONAL ECONOMY

“You are rewarded not just for what you do but for who you are.” - Terry Mante

WHY IS it that players in the same soccer team are not paid the same wages? How can two people sit in the same lecture room, write the same exam, yet score different marks? How can Thomas Edison, a man who does not have up to one year of schooling be famous for the invention of microphone, telephone receiver, motion picture and over a thousand other inventions? How is it that a person who was born in a manger became the saviour of the world? How can someone who hasn’t been to the university for a degree become the founder of a university?

In the book Future Wealth, Stanley Davis and Christopher Myers shared a scene that involved Spanish legendary artist Pablo Picasso. “A beautiful woman once approached Pablo Picasso in a Paris Café. She asked him to sketch her and offered to pay him fair value. In a few minutes, the artist created a drawing – and asked for 500,000 francs. ‘But it only took you a few minutes,’ the woman protested. ‘No,’ Picasso supposedly replied, ‘it took me about 40 years.’”

You are rewarded not just for what you do but for who you are. Many times we think life is all about doing things but that is not always the case. It’s about who we are and what we are not just what we do. We have to become before we can do. You have to build a personal economy based on your human capital.

In business, capital is a resource you inject into a venture to create value and generate profit. Capital can be money, machine, building or any resource that facilitates the production and delivery process. Human capital refers to the bouquet of core capabilities, knowledge and personality attributes that are embodied in you. It is the sum total of everything you know, all you’ve done, contacts, relationships and the intelligence you exert on your work. This defines your value in the marketplace.

If you want to be counted in the league of magnates, you must develop a valuable personal economy. You must continuously augment your spiritual, mental, physical and social capital.

CULTIVATE SPIRITUAL CAPITAL
BY SPIRITUAL capital, I am not talking about going to church or seeking favours from a native doctor. I am talking about you - your innermost self; the place of your passions, affections and aspirations. The pursuit of spiritual capital leads you to discover a purpose higher than yourself, faith that defies all odds and character that stands the test of time.

ACCUMULATE MENTAL CAPITAL
MENTAL capital is the potent combination of your knowledge, abilities and attitude.

1. Knowledge: This is the content of your mind. The quality of your knowledge determines the value of your personal economy. It is crucial that we fill our minds with the right kind of knowledge and information. When you are knowledgeable, people look up to you for ideas; people rely on you for leadership and inspiration. People will cherish your ideas.

The value of your personal economy will never be higher than what you know. So you need to give the acquisition and use of knowledge an elevated position in your life. And by knowledge, I’m not just talking about going to school, even though that is important. I’m talking about learning and applying essential things that help you to navigate different aspects of your life with meaning and significance.

2. Abilities and attitude: Everybody can be excellent at doing something but not all of us do. The challenge is for each one of us to discover what we can do and harness it. Nonetheless, if you discover your abilities but deride it, your personal economy will be undervalued. Simple, know what you can do and have immense respect for it.

GET PHYSICAL CAPITAL
ISN’T IT a pity to have a very skilful footballer who does not have enough stamina to play for just one half of a game? Many people deem regular activities like sleeping, eating, bathing, drinking of water and walking as matter of course. So we eat anything we want at anytime, we sleep only when we feel drowsy and sometimes we feel that rest is for lazy people.

Don’t wait until something breaks down in you before to pay careful attention to your body. You need physical capital in order to move on with your life.

NURTURE SOCIAL CAPITAL
THIS IS the network of relationships you maintain. It is imperative that we construct useful and fruitful relationships around us. Our worth in life is influenced largely by the people we know and the people who know us. We must deliberately decide to develop a valuable network that we can tap into.

You must make a positive impact on the people you interact with. The impact you make will portray the true value of your human capital. If your life is not touching anybody positively, then what is the essence of your capital? Who will be the consumers of your capital?



© March 2012 Terry Mante
PEDNET
Accra, Ghana